Friday, April 30, 2010

I am not my disability

As I sit here writing today I started thinking about all the things that have happened, and where I am headed for the future. There isn't a day that goes by where somebody doesn't ask me about what happened to me. Then what I usually do is give people the Readers Digest version of what is going on and I move on. This then started me thinking about how people lose there sense of meaning when something like an illness strikes them.

When you think about life before being struck by your illness then you tend to identify yourself with the things you did or who you were. What I mean by that is that in the workplace you could identify yourself by a job title or job description. In your home life you can identify with being mother, brother, or a son. At the same time you could also describe to people who we were through what we did like being educated to a high degree, traveling abroad, or even starting up your own business.

When you become sick and suffer from whatever illness it may be then, your sense of identity starts to become smudged. You start looking at who you are because you aren't who you used to be. What I mean by this is that life as it used to be changes and you become "someone who suffers from CRPS", or "someone who suffers from chronic pain". As this happens then you become "cases" to some of the medical professionals, this isn't saying that all medical professionals see you like this.

What this leaves lots of people doing is searching for their meaning within their pain. More often then not as people search they find that they don't find what they are looking for. I went through a period where I was really having a hard time trying to focus on what my future was going to be like. As I went through that I just stood in my faith that God would provide all the answers. As I continue on this journey I find that He is slowly revealing the answers to me. I might not know all the answers yet but I don't find myself searching for answers the way I used to.

Do you find yourself looking for answers? Do you feel stuck within your disability? I'm not trying to preach at anybody but I will anyway!! The answers are with God and I would really encourage people that suffer from CRPS or any other illness for that matter, to ask Him for those answers.


  1. Have you ever had a moment where you thought God was telling you to pay attention? I did...2 days ago.

    I've been suffering from chronic pain for YEARS and drs kept saying nothing was physically wrong with me. But lo, 2 days ago after a 2nd visit to a dr he decided to really listen to me. Maybe it was because I was so emphatic about it. And when I was done telling him about my on again off again near debilitating pain he said I might have CRPS.

    When he mentioned it to me, I immediately thought of you. Because I'd never heard of the disorder before visiting your blog just a few months ago. A total 'chance' sort of thing for me to have connected with you! Or was it?

    Anyway, I'm supposed to meet with a neurologist on May 4 to see if what I have is CRPS. If I do, even if there isn't a 'cure' it'll make me feel mentally better to be able to say 'I'm not crazy!'

    So I thank you. And I'll thank the Big Guy in the sky, too. Funny how life works that way, isn't it?!


  2. This is a well written blog. You are a person who is in the process of transcending your circumstances and moving to your new future. You are to be applauded for the work that you have done for yourself. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Be well


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