This week has been really long. Between doctors appointments, physiotherapy, and life in general I am feeling really tired. With the pain blocks not working the way that I would like them to, and facing having to make a decision to either have the spinal implant done I am feeling overwhelmed. It's just one of those weeks where I just need some time to myself, to figure out what step comes next if there is one.
When things get this way it's at times like these where I ask God for wisdom as to how to handle everything.
As of earlier in the week I was told that in order to help my pain I would need the spinal implant. As I walked out of the specialists office I wasn't so sure that this was going to be that easy a decision to make. My physiotherapists and myself still hope that physio after the pain blocks will show more results. All week long I have been questioning if this is the next move to be making. Do I want to put my body through this? Do I want to take the risks involved? Am I going to benefit from this or is this just another false hope for relief from the pain?
All week I have been asking God to answer all those questions for me. To give me wisdom to make the right choices. The last thing I want to do is make a quick decision that I end up paying for in the end. As I started to think about this and pray about it, God really has helped me sort out my emotions this week. He has helped me step back from things, and take a break from the constant flood of emotions that fill my brain and cause it to race ahead.
As the week has progressed my body seems have been telling me that it needs to rest, and relax a bit before I stand up and go to battle again against this ugly disease. I often stand in amazement of how God's timing comes into play. Have you ever stopped to think about the times that God helps us? He is always there to pick us up when we feel weak, or when we need encouragement. Just as I think I have no more energy left He always fills my tank with more gas to keep fighting. I don't know how things would be if it weren't for God.
It just all comes down to having faith and having enough trust in Him. That He will provide all the answers that you will need, as well as the strength to get through anything that you face. There has now been another fork in the road and I have to trust God to lead me down the right path. It's at those times that your in the trenches doing battle where I need Him there with me.
I am going to rest this weekend and take some time for myself. I'm going to rest my mind to help with my pain and spend some time with my family. I've seen enough doctors for the moment, and now it's time to spend time with the best doctor of them all GOD!!