I know it's been a while since my last post but since then I have become sick with a case of bronchitis which is the last thing that I need right now. It started as just a cold however refused to go away, finally I decided that I needed to see a doctor who has since put me on antibiotics. That being said yesterday was a bit better and hopefully I've turned the corner.
In my last post I was still very much at a standstill as to what I what I was going to do with regards to the spinal cord implant. I have since met with someone who works with the implant clinic in our city. I'm glad I took the time to meet with him because it clarified a lot of questions that I had, as well as validating some of the risks that I was concerned about. I got to look at the unit that they would implant and he explained the procedure to me. What I appreciated was that he was very honest to say that like everything else it may or may not work!!
What I quickly found out was that of the people who have had the implant done the pain sometimes returns after the initial reduction in pain. In other words I had a lot better understanding of the procedure and all the pros & cons of the implant. Did it make it any easier to decide? The answer to that was no. However I did decide that I would start the process and now I am on the waiting list. I can always cancel if I decide against it.
Like I've said from the start I'm going to put this in God's hands and trust that He will help me with my decision. For the moment I'm just concentrating on my physiotherapy after my nerve blocks. I do have increased movement in my foot however my pain levels continue to bounce around. I'm trying to stay focused on not letting the pain affect me. As I try to keep the focus away from the pain it does help to stabilize the pain, so that my flare ups aren't as bad.
In a couple of weeks time I'll be going on vacation to visit my family in Vancouver. This will be a great break from everything and will help me relax. I have had a lot of distractions of late that have helped take my mind off the pain. As a result my pain has been a little better. As always it's mind over matter!!
Hopefully when I come back I will come back refreshed and ready for the next fight. As I mentioned in my last post I've really been struggling as of late to decide what to do next. Where do you draw the line? It can be so hard to keep up the fight. It's just that the mental and physical drain from fighting all the time takes a lot out of a person. Not to mention how the pain itself takes a lot out of a person. I'd be lying if I didn't say that I'm tired right now and need a break from everything.
What I find difficult is that as I you find out about new treatments, it can be hard not to find yourself saying " maybe this is the treatment ". You try to focus on day to day living however you are always thinking forward as to what you can do to get rid of the pain. What I find is that it's like someone dangling a carrot in front of our nose. There's always that possibility that the next treatment method could work and reduce our pain!!! So why not try it right!! All I'm saying is that we need to slow ourselves down and not be so quick to think this. Is the treatment right for you? Really look at it and weigh all the pros and con's.
I find that when I slow down and try to face CRPS with more patience and less desperation that I have more energy to fight and that I make better decisions. Every now and then we need to step away from what we are facing day in and day out. Take some time for you!!