One of the hardest things in dealing with my CRPS is trying to take on the day to day with my kids. Lets face it the roles in this house have changed, and now I stay at home with the kids while my wife works in the morning. While everything that we face in dealing with our CRPS is difficult there are some things that are harder than others. Trying to take on the role of stay at home Dad is a tough one for me.
This particular change is one of the hardest for me. It is also one of the reasons that I continue to deal with flare ups that can go on for a couple of days at a time. All of you parents out there know that being a parent is exhausting and it becomes even more exhausting when they are fighting with each other day in and day out. It works out quite well that my wife works part time because I can only handle so much. It then becomes her turn to spend her time being referee and handling our crazy but yet so incredibly lovable kids.
It hasn't been easy to handle the kids yet I manage to do an ok job with them. I can't do everything with them that I'd like to however I do manage to give them ME which is really what matters when you come right down to it. There are days that the stress builds up I know that it will effect me in a negative way, however life has to move forward. The one thing that I'm sure of is that I don't want the kids to suffer because of me. To some degree they do because of my inability to do certain things, however that's where my amazing wife comes in. She has an amazing gift for raising kids and makes sure that they get to experience the things that every kid should experience.
The hard part in all of this has been trying to find a balance where the stress doesn't become to much, which is easier said than done. There are days where I feel like I'm holding on by my finger nails. It takes every ounce of energy within me to keep going! My wife will be the first to say that those days where I'm just holding on are the hardest to watch me go through. On days like that I really need my relaxation techniques to get me through the day.
Anybody that has kids, knows that there's stress at the best of times raising your kids. It just seems that all the little things that get on a parents nerves become amplified when you have CRPS. Let's face it the yelling and screaming that kids do is a perfect recipe for increasing pain levels. When kids fight, dealing with those issues also gets your nervous system all wound up. I could go on and on however I think you get the picture of what happens dealing with those things on a daily basis.
So how do you avoid the added stress that those things can bring on? I don't think that there's an easy answer to that. I think a person has to do what works for them to avoid flare ups. Between my wife and I we've been able to find a way to make things work. We have a great partnership when it comes to dealing with the kids, and she's able to read when I need a break. I don't always do a great job in saying that the stress with handling the kids is getting to me, so I really appreciate her slowing me down and making me realize this.
The bottom line is that there is no way to avoid the stress that is brought on by kids. It will always be there however there are lots of ways that we can minimize the stress to have a better quality of life. The way I see it I have at least seventeen more years before my kids move out!! So I need to figure things out so that it doesn't cause the flare ups.