Today is a snow day here in Regina so what better thing is there to do but update your blog. Although I had all day to update and here I find myself doing it at 11:00pm. Over the last couple of days I've been struggling with my pain level. For the past couple of days my pain has kept me parked on my sofa a lot of the time. During this time I've found time to put some links on CRPS that people may want to check out.
I would really like people to make some suggestions as to what I should put on my site. As well I'd like peoples suggestions as to where to find videos on CRPS because YouTube only has so many.
My pain level has not been that great today so I felt like I needed to try my best to forget about things for a bit. Even though I have a real hard time walking it was really important to me to get outside and watch my kids play in the snow. Just hearing them laugh and play was enough to put a smile to my face. Its so hard when your hurting to be positive or to even laugh. It's not for lack of me trying, it's just that I'm in so much pain that I find those things hard at the best of times. So when I am able to have a day like today and laugh with my kids I consider it a small victory and a step in the right direction. I might be in pain however the distraction is good for me and those of us with CRPS need to focus on these positive things that happen.
When I do things like what I did today I start thinking that the pain doesn't have to control me. It allows my nervous system to slow down a bit so that the pain isn't quite as intense. I was feeling pretty good and in control of the pain and had hopes in having a day that didn't end in pain. However like only CRPS could do things changed pretty quickly as the kids started yelling and screaming as they played today. I can't blame the kids because they were only being kids. Just like that my pain got really bad because of the noise and the stress that kids create. It can change on a dime and that's what I feel so frustrating.
It gets pretty discouraging because I was hoping for a good day. What I am finding though is that I am doing a better job of controlling my pain level when this happens. I'm not always successful at doing this but I'm recognising the fact that I need to take control of the situation and that I need to control the pain and not let it control me. So I'm happy to say that I managed to control it to the point that it didn't get any worse today and that's pretty big for me. Can I say that I had a great day "No", however I did win a small battle today and was able to control the pain better. So can I say that I had a bad day "No", but I can say that I am one day closer to getting better.