When a person is diagnosed with an illness such as CRPS it's only natural that you are going to face challenges! There can be physical challenges, mental challenges, and all kinds of others. As you try to face these challenges one thing has become very clear to me, that it's never easy to ask for help in the areas that you might need it. Over time it becomes easier, and you start to understand that it's alright to ask for help when you need it. Do you have a hard time asking for the help you need? I know that I do.
I'd be lying if I said that I haven't struggled with asking people for help in ways that I need it. It's OK to want things to be the way that they were. However at some point you need to move on and accept things for the way that they are. I have really had to learn that it is part of a grieving process that you have to go through. Things are different now and I have had to accept the changes that have happened. You need to make a decision to either move forward or stay stuck in a rut. What decision are you going to make?
I still find that there are lots of times that I fight and resist help from others because that deep desire to want to do it for myself is still there!! I'm pretty sure that feeling will never leave. I'm sure that there are lots of you that would be able to relate to me when I say that the drive to be independent is incredibly strong, sometimes causing me to become moody. It's not that I can't be independent it's just that it's a little different now. I do really appreciate all the help that people offer however I just have a hard time asking for it.
I've had no problem at all however drawing upon my faith and asking God for His help through all of this. Without His help I wouldn't be handling things the way that I do. Do you have a relationship with God or are you just sitting back wondering where He is? Almost always all you have to do is ask for His help. As you face this kind of adversity you'd be surprised just how much help He will give you.
I am lucky enough to have family and extended family who are there when I need them for help. I can't begin to thank them enough for everything that they do. My friends are also the same way, always there for me when I need them doing amazing things for us. Then as if that wasn't enough we have a church family that is always there for us.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that there are all these resources around us when we go through something like this in our lives. It may be your family that surrounds you or if you don't have family it might be a counselor. It might be your church or your close circle of friends. If you want to move forward in a positive direction then you have to be able to reach out to those people and say that you need there help.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
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I have witnessed your struggle not only asking for help but accepting the help offered to you. You remain a strong independant man, however we all need to rely on a little help sometimes, just some more than others. As you know, I am here to help you anytime.
ReplyDeleteD.
This is such a good post. Asking for help is one of the hardest things and you're right, there are all sorts of resources around to help us. Sometimes I think we are our own worst enemy, we treat our friends better than we actually treat ourselves and why?? We deserve to treat ourselves with the best care and I think its a matter of perspective - do we feel embarrassed or worse, dependent, if we reach out? It takes trust to be able to ask for help so whatever we do we have to be able to feel a connection to those we get help from. Without it I think it makes it so much harder!!
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your thoughts!